Whatever it is, you are - I will understand you. You will not defeat me. I will enriched because of you. The pathological model is not always the solution - "Dark Nights of the Soul" exists as spiritual challenges. It is only such challenges that provides a deeper, insightful growth. I have to believe there is a reason. A purpose. An opportunity for insight. In a sense, it already has: it explains my insatible urge to help the world. To contribute to the greater good. With pain brings empathy. Empathy leads to understanding. Understanding to Growth. You realise how fleeting ego is. And although ego is neccessary and not entirely a evil thing, to be driven solely by ego is futile. For inevitably at some point, the ego will shatter. Everyone experiences suffering at some point. When you have a purpose beyond ego, the suffering no longer becomes suffering. Itis becomes another stepping stone to self-awareness.

I remember writing in my journal in 07 when I was sitting around in Kathmandu. I don't know where it came from, but feeling so far away from home at that point, I recall writing, "It is only when you are lost that the shakles of perception fade, when your hardened identity dissipates... only then can you truly find yourself."

I still believe that. Well, Kind of, anyway.

Back to research. Doctor's appointment at 4.