Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Project: Closed

After a sporadic five years writing on Passenger, I have decided to closed it up.

I am done.

Project: Finished.

I have gotten a lot out of writing here. Travel thoughts. Reflective insights. A place for me to ramble when I was depressed. It is seen a lot of me.

However, I have come to a point in my life where I want less distractions, less projects, less half-completed things.

I want to align my digital activities.
Make them all one and the same.
I don't need to hide my alter ego - max_edwards - I can embrace/share/be all of time in one place.

So that's it.

Project: Closed

See you later

Monday, May 17, 2010

Reflections from US

I am in San Diego at the moment.
My friend, Morgan Sully, insisted that I have a day of "Eddie-Time" today and graciously offered the use of his house to chill out.

I haven't been doing much today.

Eating. ( Mexican, of course)
Watching Ted Videos. ( I am addicted to inspiring lectures. Not a bad thing, I think.)
Smoking. ( I really should quit one of these days.)
And since it has been a long foray since I have meandered onto Passenger's shores, I thought I would add it to today's activities.

In my head right now, I am trying to make sense of the last few months here in San Francisco and the US.
What did I learn?
Have I grown? How has it shaped me?
Have I moved forward?
What seeds have I planted that could potentially emerge later? Has the serendipity engine been in gear?
What was hard? What were the challenges?
What was exciting? What were the magical moments?
What lessons do I take from it?
Was it worth it?
Is the digital nomad lifestyle really what I want? I feel like consistently having a 'grass is greener' struggle in my head with it. When I home, I want to leave. When I am away, I crave home. Odd.
Did I "achieve" something?

I have had some magical moments here in SF.
But, also, I have had some stressful moments as well. A few dark times. Sometimes I feel so fucking lost.
Is this life?
An ongoing struggle for inner peace. Moments of serenity and equilibrium. Sporadic chaos in between.
On one hand, I want to stay here in the US. There is so much "opportunity", so much exciting, innovative stuff going on.
On the other hand, I don't feel ready to stay here longer. I am already surrounded by opportunities, amazing people - I don't need to chase more to simply feel complete. I already am complete in a sense - I just need to work with what I already got.
I can always come back when I am ready. I do have that American passport handy.

I am looking forward to Melbourne though.
Its familiar but new.
I know good people there and I am looking forward to getting to know them better.
I am looking forward to working on my things - #standards , #gear , #finance , #myprojects.
I want to learn to look after myself. It is the only way I can look after others more effectively in the long-term.

I was reading a book today about 'The Reindeer People' in Northern Siberia.
It dives into the origins and myth of nomadic people.
In one passage, it stated that nomads don't simply wander. They operate in cycles. They move with their movement and setup their locations strategically.

Maybe that is why I intuitively feel the urge to leave SF. It seems stupid to leave all the opportunity behind, but as I realised at Wisdom 2.0, opportunity is everywhere. I don't need to chase it. Its not scarce. Its all around me. I can let go. Stop thinking it is fading at my fingertips. Stop grasping it. Let go of the attachment to it. Just be.

(Easier said that done.)

I have so much learning, growth, development to do myself.
I want to create strong platforms within, first.
I need to understand myself if I am to understand the world.

That is all.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

My mates telling me how it is

via my friend.
Good reminder.

dude, I'm hearing the same fucking excuse over and over. Stop thinking and do something. Anything. Take advantage of one of these opportunities. just one of them, who cares which one. just pick one. Then you can have some money to buy a laptop or whatever. Action proceeds clarity man.

Don't cruise, decide what you want to stand for and make a stand. If it's yourself then awesome, go get a job so you can buy the shit you need to get you out of this space. Stop being so fucking righteous in that I don't want to work a 9 - 5, and then bitch about not having money and the things you 'need', because you would be lowering your standards or whatever. Do what you have to do. Ring a whole lot of people and ask for some speaking gigs. DO for YOU. Stop putting other things first and take action that will move YOU forward. 

You know what you have to do. You just need to grow a pair and go after it. Feel the fear and go fuck you and do it anyway.

Coming from this place with total love brother. Stop holding yourself back.

Posted via email from Passenger to Nowhere

Monday, January 04, 2010

Nature's Wisdom: A guide to waking the fuck up to the answers that are right in front of you. (Rough notes)

Book idea with @simonlawry


- Why nature provides the answers; why we stopped listening to nature; how nature can be a source of wisdom; what spiritual traditions have always dedicated this
- what is nature? Why humans are one and the same with nature - why/how we have forgotten this?
- How to open your eyes to nature? What is the process to find dormant answers that exist in front of you?

- Bird - Flying, "Leaving the Nest", Pack of Birdsflying - related to serependity, collective consciousness
- Caterpillar/Butterfly
- Sheep/Wolf
- Forest/Trees/Roots
- Clouds
- Volcano
- Mountain
- Fish
- Polar Bear
- Dog
- Cat
- Wind
- New Zealand Maori?  They are very nature based aren't they?
- Fire

-Crowdsource one part to a group of 20 people
Interesting under each part to look up what tribe groups/spiritual traditions have used certain metaphors'- ( ie Aboriginal with Dreamtime, Zen, American Indians etc etc............look at chinese zodiac....thinking of captain planet many traditions things that have used this before - in essence, it is nothing you, just in our left-brain world, we have lost our ability to see these things. How do we write this in a context for people who haven't woken the fuck up yet? How do we write this in a style that helps people to wake the fuck up, rather than it being a manual for people who are already on the path to waking the fuck up.)
-Tibetan traditions
- Perhaps two part series - one on mother nature itself, one on animals - would want to position it so branding does not seem like a newage hippie thing, but a practical, no BS guide on nature.

Back to contents pages,
so maybe

1. Nature + why its important
2. Nature via the people
3. Nature wisdom from traditions of the past
4. How to apply it? Why it is easy? Why its important/

Posted via email from Passenger to Nowhere

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Posterous Experimentation

Experimenting with Posterous. Again. Love it so much.
Aim to slowly make my inbox my digital hub for everything.

So what I did:

1. Created a separate group profile on posterous. Why? So I could integrate a different autoposting features
2. Autopost services for PassengerToNowhere Blogger and MaxEdwards Twitter Account
3. I was going to be a private password setting on this posterous, but if that was none, it disables the autoposting which defeats the purpose of the exercise.

The #win being I can post to both @edwardharran + @max_edwards all from my inbox.
(Note I haven't put autoposting features on @edwardharran twitter account....I suppose I don't want to fill twitterstream up too much, i kinda see them as two separate channels. Whilst I see the benefits to having the two work together, I like to keep them separate things. Guess I don't want to get too broadcaster-y.)

Looking back on this post, I just realised how everything i wrote was so geeky. I have become a nerd. But I love it so who cares.

Posted via email from Passenger to Nowhere

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Jan 12th

I'm not one much for Tarot/ New Age/ astrology literature, but, a few months back, I was reading a massive Astrology birthday book at my friend's house. It was scary how much the words resonated. I scribbled down the words on a piece of paper.

Jan 12th
"The Highest Calling, perhaps, is to be true to oneself"
Drawn towards all-involving professional life
Career or life interest usually in 20's -> capable of scarifing a great deal for it, particularly in terms of inward, personal growth.  (Thats not true - I am always about personal growth. My "career" is my personal inward growth. No dichotomies .)
May see life to serving others -> in fact drawn to excitement and adventure. (VERY TRUE)
Once they find their calling, they follow it, wherever it leads them.
Must choose work carefully.
Maintaining a strict set of ethical principles constant with traditional human values. ( Coincidence that P5 was all about bringing human values back to work/life?!)
Many identified with a cause, willingly to give up personal identity. ( Maybe. Maybe not)
On the other hand, some Jan 12th absorbed in themselves, when it is their own personality or image, cruical to success of professional plans. ( that is funny because my online 'brand', @edwardharran, is very much a key part in my success thus far.)
Careful not to give the impression of arrogance; more successful with low key approach and heightened sensitiveity towards others
Can be carried away by own ideas. When in losing professionally, liable to hang on this bitter end. Liable to setbacks very hard. ( Have done in the past. Still do I think.)
Professions ( or hobbies) -> often unusual. (Yep. No doubt.)
Successful people born on this day regarded as brilliant + unusual, but a bit strange. (Yep.)
Numbers + Planets: 3 and Jupiter. (No clue what this means).
Tarot: '
The Hanged man' - spiritually powerful, deeply thoughtful.
Positive: Recognise limitations and overcoming them
Negative: Spirital myopia and restrictedness
Strengths: Professional, Inspirational, Committed
Weaknesses: Self-sacrifical, preoccupied, unheeding.
Likely to ignore health -> Six months/yearly checkups advised
A Balanced diet -> important
Only moderate physical exercise is recommended, particularly long walks in the open air.
         (I gotta learn to look after my body/health more.) 
Pay more attention to your personal life and maintain strong ethical code
Listen to others
Beware of arrogance/condescension
Dont go off in the deep end professionally - remember work is only one aspect of your life.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

You can't be best friends with everyone.

#understandthedissoncebetweenthearchetypes - the prince vs the nomad

(Picture: Maria and Manuel - Two Spanish folk I travelled with in India. We had this real intense bond. We were all crying upon our inevitable departure. I don't know what they are doing now. I miss them sometimes)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Flowing

Sometimes I filled with this peculiar, yet oddly beautiful, sadness.
I have had so many people come in and out of my life. Sometimes they come back in again, then go out.

People who I have shared amazing experiences with - now, memories of the past.
People who I thought I would stay in touch with for years to come - now, facebook "friends" that I occasionally stalk, reminding me of life's impermanence.
People who have long left my dunbar150 circle - now, colours in the landscape portrait painting of the past.
And I am only 25.
What remains in the next 25 years?

I don't know - I just can't shake the feeling, this mild remorse, that comes when you see someone you were close to, but through life's inevitability, you both go different ways. I ask myself: could I have given more to the friendship? Then again, maybe not. I am not sure.

The more I ponder this peculiar feeling, the more I am odds with myself.
I can feel it. Dormant feelings waiting to be explored.

Does everyone experience this as I do? A continual flow of people, in and out, coming and going. Or is just me and my reality? The downfall of having an innate curiosity for people: you inadvertently fail to maintain contact with old friends as you keep moving forward in life. Or perhaps my feelings are normal -the inevitable cognitive dissonance that comes when can't you give adequate social grooming to your Dunbar150.
Maybe this is the small price I pay for following my dreams. For always following my gut and going on my own. For staying Fuck you to groupthink and status quo.

I have always this Catch 22 relationship with "popularity": the gift of connecting with people, at times. left me feeling empty. Over the years, I have organically changing my tacits: I crave quality over quantity. I do my best to be a loyal friend to people that matter to me. But even those people seem to change. Which gets me in this head-spin: is it 'me' who is creating this impermanent flow of people - or am I simply observing the nature of life? Moving, Flowing, Never-ending touchpoints with people. Do I accept this? Is this how is it? What is this pattern I am observing? Do other people see this as I do?

The childhood psychologist in me says that peculiar sadness stems back experiencing impermanence, loss, lack of love early in life. Divorced parents. Boarding School. Issues with my Dad. A clique really.

Then again, I have always experienced such amazing bonds, joy, happiness with others.
Hanging with Japanese Backpackers at my mum's restaurant
My brothers at Boarding School.
My awesome years at IH.
Travelling in Asia.
Edgeware Kids.
And, more recently, my Palomar5 family.

It ain't like I ended any of these relationships on a sour note, life just seemed to pull me in my own direction. I still maintain contact with people from various walks of my life; others not so. I am making new friends. Maintaining current ones. And slowly saying goodbye to others.

I guess it just weirds me out - if I have had such a rich tapstery, yet impermanent, tapstery of people in life already, what will my life look like when I am 60?
(Especially in the age of the networked economy when we are all going to be a click away for life. Is that kind of ambient awareness a benefit or a hinderance for our collective psychological life? )

I can't even pinpoint the origin of this thought process anymore.
Am I witnessing the pattern of life's impermanence that every spiritual tradition discusses?
Am I simply experiencing delayed grief from a lack of love in my younger years?
Is this a group dynamics thing - mere cognitive overload when you give social grooming as you would like to?
Or am I doing my head again?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Paradox of Change

Whilst walking along Kangaroo Point on the way to Sarah's house, I had this epiphany. I might not articulate it properly, but I will try nevertheless. As I have mentioned before, words/language are not necessarily the only way to communicate what one feels. You have to be content with "language that cannot be spoken." Just because it cannot be conveyed in rationally terms does not mean it is us worthy or less true. Language is just one medium of expression. Intuition another - and often one 'gut feeling' cannot be easily translated to words.

I disgress.

You are always changing.
You are always evoling.
You are always growing.
You are not the same person who were yesterday.
Nor will you be the same person tommorrow.
Change always inside you.
Yet, you are also not changing.
Your essential is always the same. Just mainfests itself in different ways.
You haven't changed at all - rather you have discovered a deeper layer of yourself. Like peeling an egg.

People are always changing.
They come in and out of your life.
Friends of the present because friends of the past.
You don't know who your friends of the future might be. Your friends of the present may continue being friends in the future - or they might become memories of the past.
In and out. People from the past might reappear. And leave. Then reappear again.
Cherish your company, but never be attached. People around you are always changing.
Yet, at the same time, people never change.
You always grativate towards people who share similar values.
The essential is all the same.
People come back. People leave. You grow. They grow. So, in a sense, nothing changes. It just appears that way. When everyone is going through this process, well, its all the same.

Environments are always changing.
Day and Night.
Eras - School, University, Work, Marriage, Life, Travel. They start. Then Stop.
Landscapes are changing before our eyes. Climate Change. Technology. List goes on.
Yet at the same time, nothing is changing, because the lessons are still there.
The same spiritual lessons.
The same learning from the past apply to our modern context.
So, in a sense, nothing about the environment has actually changed. Just the outward mainfestation.

Change is a paradox.
Everything changes, but nothing does.
My conversation with @CDEgger a few months ago has made me more aware of the idea of non-duality. Nothing is 'this' or 'that'. Black or White. Life is one big grey. Full of contradictions. Everything is right and wrong. Everything is correct and not correct.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Trusting yourself first

@rosshill told me to "blog it", so here is what is on my mind lately.

We must listen to yourself first before we can gain any resemblence of value from others' advice/feedback.
If you are not listening to yourself first, you run the trap of getting off track. We search for the answers outside us, but the answers are always within. Not one knows you better than you - so we don't you listen to you for a change. Fuck what others say or what status quo dictates. If you are don't listen to what your gut says, you run the risk of moving in the wrong direction.

Sometimes  your inner wisdom cannot be articulated in words, in language. This is fine. Just trust it - you dont have to show off, or justify what you believe to be good for you. You need to have a sense of quiet confidence that what you must do is good for you. You must be content with the sense of solitude and trust in your own wisdom. Listening to others, getting advice from others, is only effective once you listen to yourself first. Only you know yourself. Everyone's view is tainted by their own perception, their own life experiences, their own views. They are not you. They don't know the intricatites of your mind, no one does. So stop trying to find the answers from others all the time. Stand up, look inside and listen to yourself. Do it.

You can read every book imaginable.
You can get feedback from others. Get advice. But the best advice is from yourself. In our logical and raitonal world, we have lose that ability to listen to what we already know is best for us. We must trust our own inner wisdom. Who cares what others think? If you are always living to others expectations, you are destinted for spiritual failure. Take others' advice with a grain of salt - be apperciative but dont be attached to their words. Underneath their motivations and experiences that brought on that advice. Only then can you take what you want from their words. Only when you have self-awareness of your own mind can you appericate the minds of others.

So , stop.
What is your gut telling you?
What is the right path for you? There is no good or bad - dicthomies are a myth.
Stand back.
Step up.
And listen to yourself.
Cause those who listen to themselves are destinted for greatness.


Thursday, September 03, 2009

Return to Vegas

So I am going back to Brisbane on Saturday. Mixed feelings - more on the positive side, of course - but a little mixed nevertheless. A tinge of nerves. I have no doubt everything will ulimately be fine, but the butterflies still there.

As I was saying to my mate, Did, yesterday, I have really enjoyed being back home this round. I usually trend it. But I actually enjoyed the peace, the shanti'ness, time to reflection and get better on my terms. The initial month or so was tough; relapses left, right, centre. But deep inside, I knew I would overcome. Probably cause I had overcome it last time and came back bigger and better than ever. Seems like the same process is happening again. I feel more self-aware. Stronger. Focused. Determined. Compassionate. Failure and darkness teaches us things in a way that success never can. I have done so much goddamit reflection while I have been put here - I feel personally and spiritually a bit wiser. Maybe. Maybe I am kidding myself - the process of growth never ends really. Plus, I have had freereign geeking, which has proves to be a nice "cost-benefit" to my skills/knowledge/opportunities.

Right now - I have three opportunites in the works:

Palomar 5 - If I get it, I'll be going to Europe
SWY - If I get it, I'll be going to Japan, India and United Arab Emirates
TOTO - If I get it, Ill be going to Bangelash or Cambodia

So I figure there is a good chance Ill get at least one of them. Will satisfy my nomad archetype.

What else?

Challenges that I need to look out for:

- Money and Cash Flow
- Maintaining Slow; Not going too fast and/or burning out.
-Enjoying 'NOW' - not the future and/or craving about the past
- Working on projects that matter to me. Learning to say no and not getting distracted by the irrelevant. Your focus: social media and social innovation. Everything else - passion-wise- is secondary.
- House - Mainly because of messy situation last night. Wanna be a good housemate

What am I exicited about:

- Hanging with Brisbane buddies and started afresh again. Building relationships that matter to me. Being content with the nature of change.
- Geeking. (of course)
- Enjoying the Now
- Having exicitment and adventure
-Contining to learn and grow

All right, this post was a bit incoherent, but I just wanted to smash something down on the keyboard.

Anyway talk later


Sunday, August 23, 2009

What are we getting depressed?

'Tis late. Feel like writing. Off the top of my head.

Why are 1 out of 6 Australians on an anti-depressant?
What has mental illness risen by 4000% since the 80's?
Are we going insaner as a race, as a species?
Or is society to blame - our incessant need for speed, our addiction to achievement, our disllusions about ego?
How can we fix it?
How can we create a world that allows people to be?
To be themselves?
How can we alleviate sufferring?
It saddens me to see people in pain? Because there is so much beauty around?
How can we fix it?
What is the underlying and fundamental causes behind the tide of mental illnesses?
Surely, 'tis not entirely our fault.
Is it our education system - the pressure to conform, to succeed?
Is it our societal norms - that don't accept diversity, our individualistic culture centred around ego?
Is it our parents?
How can we create a social revolution to change this? Rather than put band-aid solutions on mental health, how can we address the issues behind the rise in mental illness.
What is fundamental wrong with our systems that trigger this?
Have we lost meaning in our lives? is that it?
 I want people to be happy. There is no real reason to be depressed especially in the developed world where we have so much.
Is it our scarcity/abundance mentality that is warping our heads?
Is it advertising that turns wants into needs?
Is media to blame? How can we create a better media - one that inspires rather than compares. one that serves rather than brainwashes. One that enlightened rather than stupidifies.

I believe people are inherently good.
Let's create system that gives people the opportunity to be good.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

46 Things I am grateful for: Issue 2

Gratitude needs to be practiced.
It has been consciously articulated, written, and observed.
Only then does the mind take upon itself to be grateful on subconscious level. When that happens, you see positive even when you are not thinking.


So, in light of that, and given how good I felt after my last '46 Things I am grateful for' post, I figured it was about time I do the exercise again. Plus, I haven't written on a 'Passenger' in a little bit. (But I have been going nuts on my posterous). A bit tired atm, but will persist and just do it. Here it goes.

1. I am grateful for the 'me' time I have been having at home - a chance to heal, to recover, to gather my thoughts/issues, to go slow and gain clarity in my mind.

2. I am grateful for #toto Action Aid Blogger Nominations - god, its been amazing. The support has been through the roof. Plus, it has been a nice exercise in the art of non-attachment. I am enjoying the process, the exicitement, but I am not too fussed about the result.

3. I am grateful for the last month or so. Moods have been fairly stable. I have been calmer, healther, clearer about things.

4. I am grateful for the meditation I have been doing semi-strenously last six weeks or so. It is definitely having a positive effect - I can feel it. Concentration - better. Calmer - better. Mindfulness - better. I am determined to persist with it - it is vital that I do as a part of my mental health upkeep.

5. I am grateful for my bipolar/depression -whatever-label-you-want-to-call-it. Why? Because it has been a spiritual transformation in many ways. I have been forced to dig deep, to look inside - something that people rarely get a chance to do at my age. (Maybe). Because it forces me to look after me. The simple realisation that I can't look after the world if I don't look after myself. I need to focus on my big rocks before taking on the rocks on the world, which I feel I am somewhat destined to do.

6. I am grateful for social media passion. Fuck, I love it. I can't even express how much I love it. It crosses everything. I talk entrepreneurship, spirituality, geekness, designthinking, nonprofit technology. The ulimiate intellectual and personal development playground.

7. I am grateful for my library. I have been reading a lot.

8. I am grateful for the insight I came up with the other day - it seems somehow powerful to me. "Life is continual pattern-deciphering: complexity turning into simple, connections becoming clear, separation dissipating into holistic." Going to flesh this concept out at some point - I can see it in a lot of things now.

9. I am grateful for the perculiar amount of serepindity that has been happening lately (especially seeing my old school mate in the middle of nowhere Aussie bush. That was random and somehow mysterious.)

10. I am grateful for the #manweek movement that started. It brought a huge amount of amazing things - 1) I was able to articulate a deep psychological issues that I had buried for so many years 2) I was about to share that will people and hopefully help them understand themselves 3) I showed it to my Aunty, Uncle and Cousins, which created another connection with them; 4) it was a cool social media meme to be part of; 5) More importantly, I SENT IT TO DAD. Not sure what the outcome with be yet but that is part of the fun.

11. I am grateful I am working on my 'Open Source Passion Plan'- articulating my vision - both in terms of my passion and my deeper self.

12. I am grateful for discovering my six archetypes - The healer, the nomad, the prince, the warrior, the joker, the scholar. I am very exicited to see how that is going to develop and help me.

13. I am grateful for my psychologist, maria O'Dae - she was awesome and actually listened to me. We had a nice intellectual and deep bond. There was no airy fairy bullshit and I think my time seeing her helped immensely.

14. I am grateful that I trusted my instincts and decided not to go on more drugs. I listened to what was good for me, even though another side of me wanted a quick solution. I have come to realisation that this is more of a holistic issues rather than a "problem". I am glad to stood up for myself.

15. I am grateful Sandbox Network interview I did - and especially Sandbox Network - so many awesome ppl. I am looking forward to where that leads. And also for Johanna who setup that thing with Polamar - i might be going to Berlin in September 2009.

16. I am grateful that Mums computer hasnt fucked up since I have been home.

17, I am grateful for that I can play decent guitar and can sing decently, even though still lots of room for improvement. I am looking forward to developing that skill in the future.

18. I am grateful that IGA is down the road from my house. I have been getting yoghurt and dare Iced coffees most mornings. Awesomeo.

19. I am grateful for Four Mile Beach and the two random meditation spots I found.
20. I am grateful for the little writing pad I got from the lads at Joseph Mark - I have been doing shitloads of reflection in it and coming up with heaps of good brainstorming/thoughts/ideas etc

21. I am grateful that I finally got off my ass and bought an headset for Skype.

22. I am grateful that I am involved in the 4change chat.

23. I am grateful that I am starting (slowly) to recognise my ego in action. Its actually very humourous.

24. I am grateful for the epiphany I had sometime the other week - that we are all the same. I literally feel the sameness. We are all searching for happiness and trying to avoid sufferring. That is it. We are all the fucking same.

25. I am grateful for my two cats, especially Kia. I have observing animals - they are so content, peaceful. So interesting that cats pur. Such a weird noise dont you think. Imagine if humans had a random noise when we got affectionate.

26. I am grateful for CENTRELINK!!!! God bless you Australian government. I am getting 550 per fortnight, not much yes, but, at least, it covers my living expenses for a little while and gives me room to breath, not stress and focus on my self-actualisation journey. PLUS the conversation I had with Maria from Centrelink was so funny - I said, "So hypothetically I can sit on my ass for the next two years and get cash?" She said, "Yes you can sit on your ass and play warcraft all day if you want." Made me smile.

27. I am grateful that I live in Port Douglas. I LIVE IN FUCKING PORT DOUGLAS. WTF Eddie?

28. I am grateful that I have been soaking up the spiritual literature - I am understanding spirituality more and more. Its not a thing just for the so-called hippie generation - frankly if you havent gotten in touch with your spiritual side, you are missing out.

29. I am grateful for the challenges I will have to face - #slow, bipolar, passion vs cash. Everything is an exercise in spiritual training if you choose it to be. *Warrior Archetype speaking*

30. I am grateful for my clothes. Mum got me some new clothes. I dont buy clothes often, simply cause I have never been so fashion conscious but I still like it I suppose.

31. I am grateful that I finally made the effort to get some Chinese herbs for my stomach bug I had for ages.

32. I am grateful that things have gone a bit pear-shaped with Adrian and Vicky. It happens. Life goes on. People come in and out of your life. Adrian is still my best mate. Our roads will joint up again at some point. Everything changes.

33. I am grateful for that I am inevitably going to miss out things in this gratitude list.

34. I am grateful for twitter!! Seriously, I can't even begin to think how much a stupid
application has changed my life. Opened so many doors - professionally, personally, spiritually. Fucking hell it is awesome

35. I am grateful for Edgeware. Its Edgeware - its awesome

36. I am grateful for the FB message I got from my ex-girlfriend, maja. It was honest and real. I feel like it finally healed that scar that was sitting on my shoulder still. I realise Ill always love her, ill always care about her even if I never speak to her again. She was an important part of my life - and it is ridicilious just to thrown that away simply because it didnt work out. I miss her.

37. I am grateful for that I can't keep track of the opportunities that flood me. I have opportunities overload - I shouldnt see that as a problem, its actually quite funny.

38. I am grateful for my stupidity. God, I can be such a dickhead sometimes. I love it. It keeps me level-headed. Normal. Real.

39. I am grateful that my phone is fucked. Somehow has created a nice psychological
barrier/distance between Brisbane world and Port Douglas world even though I am on social media channels every ten seconds.

40. I am grateful for my mums cooking. Awesomeo

41. I am grateful for my drugs and vitamins I have been taking. Fish Oil rocks.

42. I am grateful for my attiude about not being able to drive, not having a car in Port Douglas. Havent really bothered me this time around. As weird as this sounds, it actually on a subconscious level one of the reasons I didnt like going home during my university years, because people would ask me do you drive? This time around my focus is elsewhere, so hasnt bothered me

43. I am grateful for my curls. Curls get the girls. Maybe

44. I am grateful for package of goodies I got from grandma

45. I am grateful for Seesmic Desktop - awesome twitter app.

46/.This is, kind of cheating, but I am most grateful for the amazing people that are around me, even if it mostly online atm. I am most grateful for People. Here are some of them

Lani Pauli - Been having so many DM conversations with her. We are getting close. Weird. Cant wait to *meet* her

Chris Raine and Simon Lawry - cause they are awesome awesome, deep dudes and the perfect people to move in with on my next journey.

Mark Lobo - cause its @marklobo and we are brothers, sort of.

MikeBoyd - #thehive, cause also inspiring.

Didier - my mate I have been hanging out with in Port Douglas. He is a troubled soul like me but we have both been an interesting influence on each other. I have been helping him as he has been helping me. We have gotten really close really quickly. Strange. If it hadnt been for him, I would not be hanging out (physically) atm.

Mark Pollard and Gavin Heaton - For starting manweek and helping me take a big step in my relationship with my Dad

@CDEgger - Cause she has been teaching me about 'oneness', David Pear

@RossHill - Cause he is awesome. We have know each other for 2 years. Crazy. And for the skype call the other day talking about Spiral and Google Wave. And he is going to give me Spiral Test. And he won the Anthill award. And he is SO FUCKING CHOICEEEEEE?

@ SteveHopkins - Legend. Absolute Legend.

@JanStewart - She has been teaching me a lot.

Angus Burton - because we had a conversation AGES ago talking about archetypes. Then months later, I started reading into Jung pyschology, then two things connected and I discovered my six archetypes, such a good dude.

Adrian Mauro - cause he is the loyal dude ever. My best mate. Even though things are a bit weird atm, they will ulimately be ok. I know this.

@MichealDoneman - MD represents the turning point. If I hadnt met Micheal, edgeware wouldnt have happen. If that didnt happen, social media wouldnt have happen. If social media wouldnt have happen, I would have met so many amazing people. Plus, Micheal Doneman is so awesome.

@Sarah moran - because its Sarah. Cause she is switched on like me and I feel a real sense of kinderedness with her. Family love or something. Plus I know, I know, i am going to do amazing things with her in the future.

David M Hill - cause he is caring and good soul. Loyal friend since 2003.

Matthew Varley - for setting up that meeting with GW for me, even though I havent sorted it out yet. Going to talk with Sophie soon. And plus he is a good dude. A good spirit.

@therealburgo - cause I like him. He is a good bloke. Cant wait to have beers with him and talk geek and holistic marketing.

@AviKaplan - cause he introduced me to a Jewish concept about Generosity and he is a good bloke WHO GENUnieS Cares

@Luke Grange - for the awesome laughs we had the other day on Skype

Amyrsward - Awesome

Joe Solomon- Rockstar

Morgan Sully - I LOVE THIS DUDE. FUCKING AMAZiNG. I wanna hang out with him more. I wish I could. He is exactly like me in so many ways.

Romi Oliverio - cause she is awesome, another kindered spirit. God, I have been talking with Romi for over a year now. Crazy.

Andrew Sloan - cause sloany is another best mate even though we dont talk as much because of geographical distance. I know we will party and connect again soon enough

Turks - cause he is a loyal loyal loyal friend who has helped me out soooo many goddamn times.
Beth Kanter - for helping me out. Again. Plus I learn lots from her.

David Barrett - Social butterfly like me. I wanna hang out with him more.

June Kant- My pseudo Mother. Always looking after me. Always ringing me. Always helping me out especially when I get depressed.\

@be_b - cause we are intellectual nerds and connected souls. I have really enjoyed talking with her and I cant wai tto get to know here even more.

My Mongolian friends - and especially my host brother who just had a kid. CANT WAIT TO GO BACK TO MONGOLIA

Gideon S - cant wait to have beers with him soon and talk geek. He is such a DEEPPPPPP dude. I really like him a lot.

Jonathan Renich, Edurelief - god, he makes me seem like a fad. He is actually doign amaazing stuff and changing a country. he is such an inspiration and I cant wait to visit him in the future.

Crocker - cause he pushs me to be all that I can be

Benny Johnston - cause that dude is an inspiration. And a creative, diagram drawing luantic like me.

Pieter Kant - cause he is a good man. With good storiers. And wisdom.

@tdavison - Fuck he is SMARTRTTTTTTTTTTTTT. God, he is a real inspiration.

All the people who wrote comments about me on toto - SOOOOO Grateful and humbled by that
So far: Jenni Beattie, Chris Densmore, cameron burgess, Deano Power, Ben Johnston ,Genevieve Robey, Andrew , Salvatore, Amber Marshall, Joe Solomon, Rob Arcidiacono David Hill, Heather LaGarde, Doug Millen, Romina Oliverio, June Kant ,Michael Meloni, Jonathan Lai ,Chris Noble Morgan Sully, Ben Hall ,Des Walsh ,Nicole Jensen, Ehon, KateFoy, Suzi (ashvara) , Esther Cole, Louisa Dahl, Carla Tromans, Matt Varley, Burgo ,Lauren Anderson , Aleem Britta , Christine Egger , sylmobile aka Sylvano

The amazing online communities that I am part of - TOOO MANY NAMES TO LIST. I am grateful that I will inevitably miss out on people I feel grateful for. That is so funny and awesome.
890 Facebook Friends'
My Dunbar 150 - whoever they are
The people in my 54 Ning Groups
My 2400 whatever Twitter Followers - so much collective intelligence/wisdom/storiers
All my school mates
All my IH mates
All my other mates - wotif kids
Port Mates

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Paradox

Everything is a paradox.
It's so simple, yet so obvious. And when you think about, we are all paradoxes, too.

I am introvert but I have mastered the art of connecting with people.

I have been blessed with focused, intelligent mind, but goddammit, I swear I am the most absent-minded person I know. I forget to call people. Some things just don't click with me, like money: you have to explain it to me 200 times. I am scared of tax.

I am skinny bastard. But goddammit, to paraphrase Mayer, my bodily structure doesn't get me enough credit - I am pretty big in other ways. My heart, maybe.

I am decisive, but I can't make decisions sometimes. Like which Peanut Butter- Smooth or Crunchy?

I am always awry of my ego, but my ego drives me a lot, I take comfort in it.

I love doing, achieving, getting shit done, being busy. And yet, there is a side of me that craves simplicity. Being. Enjoying the moment. Living for the sake of living. Seeing the magic.

I love connecting with people; I have a huge network of friends and acquaintances. But I still sometimes feel incredibly lonely, I wonder why that is?

I am incredibly enthusiastic and positive. Yet, deep within, I know I have a dark side. Frightened, gloomy, anxious - the quintessential lost boy in neverland.

I want to make an impact and change the world. I want meaning, a purpose higher than myself. I want to influence myself and others - enlighten them to the awesomeness within. I don't want to work for the man. Live for just money and possessions - I want something more than that. And, yet, I want money. I want power. I want success. I like business. From a spiral dynamics perspective, I wish I was more orange/red

I am perfectionist, yet I accept all my faults.

I am forgiving, but I can be incredibly resentful and bitter.

I am selfless. I love doing stuff for other people and I, all too often, forget to look after my big rocks. But sometimes I can be quietly selfish. I am always in my head. Thinking about me. 'Special Eddie = everyone loves Eddie, eddie, Eddie, Eddie." Sometimes, when doodling on the phone, I write my signature over and over again. Yep, Selfish.

I love to listen, but holy shit, do I talk.

I am assertive, but sometimes I have trouble saying no.

I want security and stability, but I dream about adventure. Living the moment and going with the flow.

I think I am old for my age, but still fairly young and naive in many respects.

I exert strong feminine qualities (compassion, empathy, listening, love), but I am still a lad's lad. I hang out with dudes more than chicks. I went to an all-boys school. I like fart-jokes.

I am incredibly loyal to my mates. But I will forget to call them.

I accept the impermanent nature of life, but I feel sad that it happens, I still wish permanentness lasted.

I am anti-conformist, I challenge the status quo. I do things my way. Yet, I conform/mould with ease.

I am ideas man. I think big picture. I have internet ADD. I often fail to paid attention to detail. But when the going is required, my focus is bullet-proof. The wield of an axe. Sharp. Intense.

I want a career, but, at the same time, would be very happy living like a Dharma Bum for the rest of my life.

I am fairly relative-time oriented. I like my diary. I use timetables. I have weekly goals. I write To-Do lists. Yet, I understand absolute time. The Nowness that comes with just being. Mediating. Mindfulness.

I am addicted to mental stimulation, but I love quietness. The stillness of the mind.

I am fairly clean, but I forget to brush my teeth. I haven't used a comb in a decade. I re-use my underwear -sometimes.

I am fairly organised. I get shit done. But I am also terrible with other things. My phone is shithouse - I need to get a new one. I consistently borrow money off my friends - and forget to pay them back.

I want more, but I also want less.

I want admiration, but I don't. The danger of feeding my ego.

I get quantity easily. I am popular. I know this. But it has, in the past, filled me with this sense of emptiness. I desire quality relationships - real connection, real meaning, and real love.

I want to be normal, but I am far from it.

I am a living oxymoron.
A walking contradiction.
A fluid, changing creek, melding and moving with my surroundings.
Nothing is - either, or / this or that / here or there. Duality is a myth. What exists, as Christine Egger has kind been explaining to me, is a sense of oneness. Allness. A higher level where everything is one and the same - moving, flowing, existing and moving in different times and places. You have to such run with it.

When you accept your inherent paradoxes, you let go of your fixed identity. You are no longer set in stone. You change as you see fit. You accept it. Life becomes easier - your identity no longer needs satisfaction for it to survive; for it now exists on a higher, more universal plane.

After all, everything is a paradox.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Mainfesto: Human

Just signed @Human_org_au Mainfesto.


First and foremost – we are human.

It is a basic tenet and understanding that seems to be lost in a world of great uncertainty.

We should celebrate our humanity, but instead we align ourselves with nationality, culture, and ideologies before acknowledging and recognising that we are part of something bigger.

This is not a call for mono-culture, but a call to value the other as much as we value ourselves, to embrace our diversity and declare that we all have something to contribute.

The ‘we are Human’ manifesto expresses a desire for peace and hope.

If we could come to an understanding of who we are, and what we can achieve – then we will begin to address poverty, war and inequality – and the most vulnerable members of our society could be supported to lead whole and rich lives.

Read this rest of the mainfesto here.

Then sign it.

Aleem - well done. Inspiring.


What other Mainfesto have you seen that are awesome?

Gen M Mainfesto? Cluetrain Mainfesto? What else?

Posted via email from The @edwardharran brainstream