Sunday, January 21, 2007
A guide to getting frustated in three easy steps
A beginner's guide to getting incredibly frustrated and irritated in three easy steps. By following these three simple steps, you will in no time be in one of the worst moods of your life.
Go to a Chinese Post Office. Ask for your parcel that is being held there. They inform you that you need a passport to pick up your parcel, even though you have identification that specifically states you are you, and that you live at the address written on the telegram.
Go to a Chinese Post Office. Ask to have your late Christmas presents sent home. Unfortunately, the Post Office does not have large enough boxes to fit that picture you bought for your mother. This will undoubtedly leave you even more angry, knowing that you could only send half the package.
Go to a Chinese Post Office. Walk to the International Post counter. Fill out the paper work - watch as the customer representative walks off for 15 minutes. Whilst waiting, observe a Chinese lady as she pushes in front of you and gets served first. After a mountain of unnecessary paperwork, it is finally your turn. Wait patiently and try not to get too angry. The man at the counter informs you that you cannot send food Australia. You argue noting that of course you can sent food to Australia. The man at the counter persists, saying that Australia does not allow any type of food into the country. I continue to argue back, citing examples of incidents when I have sent food from Japan back to Oz. Finally, in defiance or through my sheer persuasion I don't know, watch as the man at the counter turns a blind eye and changes the name of contents for you from "food" to "gift". Just when you think everything is finally running smoothly, wait another 5 minutes until he informs you of the price - 302 RMB; a cost that is triple the amount of the actual contents of the package. Pay reluctantly.
Mission Accomplished: You will be very frustrated. Through following these three easy steps, you will be guaranteed to be incredibly shitty and ready to punch someone.
NB: To further enhance your annoyance, repeat these three steps without a native Chinese speaker assisting you. In completing this guide, I had a Chinese person to help me out. However, if you want get in a really bad mood, simply follow the same steps without a Chinese speaker, and you will guaranteed to be a such a terrible mood that you will want to kill someone.