Alright, in light of the recent condition and a desire, once and for all, to break the pattern, I have made a few decisions. Firstly, I have decided to stay home in Port Douglas and concentrate on addressing my mental health. The cycle I was in Brisbane was not getting me nowhere: a never ending sense of fastness, living from week to week on an incessant desire to feel important. When the downers inevitably appeared ever few weeks, I would hiberate into my room for 4 or 5 days, emerge again and fall back into the same patterns of busyness without addresssing my mental health issues whatsoever. When you are going fast, you don't give time to address the #bigrocks. It was affecting my relationships, my work and my family. Enough is Enough. I need real courage as I once wrote before. This #bigrock will not give me accentuate my bloated sense of self-importance; it will not advance my career, but I need to do it for myself. Only you are responsible for yourself.
Secondly, whilst in Port Douglas, and once I get a proper diagnosis for my condition, I am planning to go on a mental health pension for a little while. In doing this, I am hoping it wil allow me to; one, concentrate on my health and develop a stable routine; two, think about what direction I want to head and what my priorities are; and, thirdly, just spend some time being slow. Enjoying life, rather than striving towards it all the time. Intuitively, I feel like I made a mature decision. The pattern needed breaking. A change of environment is always good.
And, of course, on a practical level, in terms of work and projects, it doesn't matter where I am. All I need is an internet connection. I can still Twitter, Ning, Skype, Email, Facebook, NetSquare, Social Actions, edurelief, KivaAustralia , #edgeware, #nptech, geek it up et al. My work doesn't require me to be in a physical space. I am not cast off from my relationships and people. I have a good friend here in Port Douglas anyway, and I can always talk with people online. Plus, it will be awesome to hang with my family.
Now that my spiel is finished, here is my action list for the immediate future:
1. Book to See Maria O'Day and tell her about what I want: a diagnosis for my condition, a booking with a good psycharist so I can change from my current Efforx which is not working; a certificate so I can get on a mental health pension for a little while.
(Age, my shrink is Ben Kleverran's mum)
2. Mental Health Self Reflection and Research
- Use Passenger to Nowhere regularly to reflect on my moods and research
3. Spend time thinking and make an action plan in regards to my digital social media career
4. Develop a routine around exercise, mental health and therapy, career/projects whilst you are in Port Douglas, so you don't fall into a routine of doing nothing.
1. Ask Age to bring some of my stuff with him when he comes up.
(That will do for now. Will probably have more action points later.)
Thanks to all who have been helping me out for the fast few weeks - @marklobo, @adrianmauro, greg C, @mikeboyd, Wilbur J, Chris raine, @sarahmoran, @windybenny, Mum, @rosshill, @mimobase, @jessecostelle and many many others. I am lucky to have so many top qualities mates.
Btw, if anyone wants to come up to Port douglas, let me know.