Monday, June 22, 2009

46 Things I am grateful for right now: An exercise in grounding

Photo by romanlily

My laundry number at boarding school, which has since organically become my auscipious number. I can't explain it, but honestly I see '46' everywhere. Been trying to come up with a explaination for it: 'cognitive perception = reality". In the context of this post, I figure would use it again.
Beauty is all around you, if you choose to look.

: Not in the past. Not in the future. But right at this moment in time. Now

The List

1. I am grateful that I am dealing with a personal struggle: it forces me to dig deep and 'know thyself'; it allows me to #slowdown and align my inner and outer values; it dimished the ego; pardoxically, it makes me more determined to understand happiness.
2. I am grateful that I am have the freedom to be lazy right now.
3. I am grateful for my mate, Didier, who have been hanging around with heaps in Port Douglas. We have been doing meditation, reading a lot, watching movies, going out into the bush. I wouldn't do all these things alone. It reinforces my belief that friendships emerge organically wherever you go.
4. I am grateful for my Mum for putting up with my shit. For hassling me about Sickbenefits, tax, and a whole host of other things.
5. I am grateful that I have time off because I can read up a storm.
6. I am grateful that I am away from the distraction of Brisbane - gives me the space to figure out what is relevant for me and what isn't. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with 'distractions' in Brissie.
7. I am grateful that I have the home computer is working right now. It has fucked up a lot in the space and if I didnt have the internet, I would have killed myself by now. :P
8. I am grateful that I am trying to understand my 'issue' with a certain someone who I don't like - it forces me to rise above the negativity and try to find lessons and insights from it.
9. I am grateful that I got a package from @stevehopkins in the mail.
10. I am grateful for all my mates who have been very supportive, especially when it is something that is hard to understand and provide support.
11. I am grateful for the government - "supporting wackos since 1900". :P
12. I am grateful that I have social media to stimulate and kept the 'intellectual and ideas' side of me functioning whilst I work through my issues.
13. I am grateful for discovering Chaos Theory the movie. Awesomeness. Tied in with a lot of ideas I have been having about: the purpose of sufferring, meaning in anarchy, faith, etc
14. I am grateful for the solitude I have got atm.
15. I am grateful that I have no money atm. Teaches me simplicity. Teaches me that an area I need to learn more about. Teaches me that I do not need wealth to be happy.
16. I am grateful for my little sister, she is a little shit sometimes, but I love her.
17, I am grateful that I have a bathroom that is not filled with other people's crap, only my family's. I can take baths freely and guilt free.
18. I am grateful for my illness - forces me to be authetic 10000%
19. I am grateful for #4change chat - social media continues to amaze me. Incredible people doing such incredible things.
20. I am grateful for that awesome waterhole Did and I found the other day near Silky Oaks. Seriously it was beautiful and not a tourist in sight.
21. I am grateful that I am meditating more.
22. I am grateful that I have been writing on this blog. Reflection is the best way to learn.
23. I am grateful for Mum's cooking. Hybrid Japanese-Western food is the bomb.
24. I am grateful for all the awesome relationships i have, both offline and online.
25. I am grateful I bought the I Ching - makes me more content with change. I use to be resistant towards Change, but feeling more relaxed about changing circumstances, people, ideas, places etc.
26. I am grateful that I don't have to talk to anyone at home.
27. I am grateful that Mum introduced me to that natural yoghurt. I had some and initially hated it, but when you add a bit of sugar, it rocks.
28. I am grateful for my mate, Adrian, who packed up my room in Brisbane. I feel a bit "worried" about "my" stuff, but suppose that is naturally considering everyone has attachement to their material possessions. I trust Adrian will look after it. Forgot to ring him, but I was in a strange state at the time.
29. I am grateful that I have a fridge I can open up, look through and think: 'What the fuck do I wanna eat', and then eat it. Freely. Without guilt.
30. I am grateful that I have had to miss out on opportunities because of my struggle. It forces me to be humble; it makes me realise how many opportunities come my way and that if you are free-flowing, the opportunities will organic come towards you anyway. Saying no is a good skill too, especially when the reward is tempting.
31. I am grateful for all the movies I am watching. Zoning out rocks.
32. I am grateful for time in Port - makes me think about what I really want to do long term.
33. I am grateful for Chris day, my old shrink, who referred one of her patients onto me as he needed career advice and direction. She said I was very successful. Very humbling and always nice to help people out.
33. I am grateful that I hooked up via Twitter through Human Org Au a 100 donation for memeshift project.
34. I am grateful that I don't have to do anything atm. Just work on myself.
35. I am grateful that the downers keep coming back. It consistently again and again and again, to persist and then persist some more. Fucking hell, I am going to tattoo persistance on my head.

(struggling to finish the list at this point. Persistance. :P)

36. I am grateful for the family cats. Cats have such a good life: eat, sleep, affection. And repeat.
37. I am grateful for the Eckart Tolle DVD that my old school mate, Jarrah, gave to me. Oldschool childhood friends are goodvalue.
38. I am grateful that I got a call from David Langton, my mate from Boarding school with. He is like a brother. He gave me shit that I was going to organise the 10 year reunion, which made me realise I have always been an extroverted introvert, even though I think it is a recent occurence.
39. I am grateful that Port Douglas is my home town.
40. I am grateful Four Mile Beach - god, its beautiful.
41. I am grateful for the awesome weather up here in Far North Queensland.
42. I am grateful that did's mum doesn't mind that I hang out at his house all the time.
43. I am grateful that I have no idea what the purpose of all this is. Nor will I ever know. But it will prove invaluable somehow - that I am certain of.
44. I am grateful that I have a room. When I have come home in the past, sometimes that wasn't an option.
45. I am grateful for the opportunity to 'Be' rather than 'do'.
46. I am grateful that this post has only been about things I am grateful for Now, because it makes me realise how many things/people/places I have been grateful for in the past and in the future as well.