Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Saying No

Saying 'no'

If you've got talent, people want more of you. They ask you for this or that or the other thing. They ask nicely. They will benefit from the insight you can give them.
The choice: You can dissipate your gift by making the people with the loudest requests temporarily happy, or you can change the world by saying 'no' often.
You can say no with respect, you can say no promptly and you can say no with a lead to someone who might say yes. But just saying yes because you can't bear the short-term pain of saying no is not going to help you do the work.
Saying no to loud people gives you the resources to say yes to important opportunities.

via SethGodin through @ckraine

This makes so much sense to me and something that I have had trouble with. I have very quickly and organically fallen into the role of a supposed 'social media guru'. People ask me for SHITTT all the fucking time. I like it. It boosts my ego. I feel needed and invaluable. I feel special. But I can't be everything to everyone. I need to 1) look after my own needs; 2) work on projects that fill with my values and long term version; 3) if I have time or with friends/ppl I care about, I will say yes. At first, I thought I was not being assertive enough; but then I realised it was not that. I just had too many people approaching me - the problem with having success so early is that your ego is young and still wants love. My friend, Sarah, and I were talking about the idea of 'making yourself valuable' and to reinforce to ppl that my time is precious and if you want it, you should apperciate it. Thats sounds slightly arrogance, maybe it is, but I only have so much time. And I know I need to spend a significant amount of time solely on my own needs. I have a sensitive mental state.

Loving your self is number 1. Saying No is a better yes. A yes for yourself.