Gratitude needs to be practiced.
It has been consciously articulated, written, and observed.
Only then does the mind take upon itself to be grateful on subconscious level. When that happens, you see positive even when you are not thinking.
WARNING: LOTS OF GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING ERRORS BELOW. @max_edwards braindumps are messy.
WARNING: LOTS OF GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING ERRORS BELOW. @max_edwards braindumps are messy.
So, in light of that, and given how good I felt after my last '46 Things I am grateful for' post, I figured it was about time I do the exercise again. Plus, I haven't written on a 'Passenger' in a little bit. (But I have been going nuts on my posterous). A bit tired atm, but will persist and just do it. Here it goes.
1. I am grateful for the 'me' time I have been having at home - a chance to heal, to recover, to gather my thoughts/issues, to go slow and gain clarity in my mind.
2. I am grateful for #toto Action Aid Blogger Nominations - god, its been amazing. The support has been through the roof. Plus, it has been a nice exercise in the art of non-attachment. I am enjoying the process, the exicitement, but I am not too fussed about the result.
3. I am grateful for the last month or so. Moods have been fairly stable. I have been calmer, healther, clearer about things.
4. I am grateful for the meditation I have been doing semi-strenously last six weeks or so. It is definitely having a positive effect - I can feel it. Concentration - better. Calmer - better. Mindfulness - better. I am determined to persist with it - it is vital that I do as a part of my mental health upkeep.
5. I am grateful for my bipolar/depression -whatever-label-you-want-to-call-it. Why? Because it has been a spiritual transformation in many ways. I have been forced to dig deep, to look inside - something that people rarely get a chance to do at my age. (Maybe). Because it forces me to look after me. The simple realisation that I can't look after the world if I don't look after myself. I need to focus on my big rocks before taking on the rocks on the world, which I feel I am somewhat destined to do.
6. I am grateful for social media passion. Fuck, I love it. I can't even express how much I love it. It crosses everything. I talk entrepreneurship, spirituality, geekness, designthinking, nonprofit technology. The ulimiate intellectual and personal development playground.
7. I am grateful for my library. I have been reading a lot.
8. I am grateful for the insight I came up with the other day - it seems somehow powerful to me. "Life is continual pattern-deciphering: complexity turning into simple, connections becoming clear, separation dissipating into holistic." Going to flesh this concept out at some point - I can see it in a lot of things now.
9. I am grateful for the perculiar amount of serepindity that has been happening lately (especially seeing my old school mate in the middle of nowhere Aussie bush. That was random and somehow mysterious.)
10. I am grateful for the #manweek movement that started. It brought a huge amount of amazing things - 1) I was able to articulate a deep psychological issues that I had buried for so many years 2) I was about to share that will people and hopefully help them understand themselves 3) I showed it to my Aunty, Uncle and Cousins, which created another connection with them; 4) it was a cool social media meme to be part of; 5) More importantly, I SENT IT TO DAD. Not sure what the outcome with be yet but that is part of the fun.
11. I am grateful I am working on my 'Open Source Passion Plan'- articulating my vision - both in terms of my passion and my deeper self.
12. I am grateful for discovering my six archetypes - The healer, the nomad, the prince, the warrior, the joker, the scholar. I am very exicited to see how that is going to develop and help me.
13. I am grateful for my psychologist, maria O'Dae - she was awesome and actually listened to me. We had a nice intellectual and deep bond. There was no airy fairy bullshit and I think my time seeing her helped immensely.
14. I am grateful that I trusted my instincts and decided not to go on more drugs. I listened to what was good for me, even though another side of me wanted a quick solution. I have come to realisation that this is more of a holistic issues rather than a "problem". I am glad to stood up for myself.
15. I am grateful Sandbox Network interview I did - and especially Sandbox Network - so many awesome ppl. I am looking forward to where that leads. And also for Johanna who setup that thing with Polamar - i might be going to Berlin in September 2009.
16. I am grateful that Mums computer hasnt fucked up since I have been home.
17, I am grateful for that I can play decent guitar and can sing decently, even though still lots of room for improvement. I am looking forward to developing that skill in the future.
18. I am grateful that IGA is down the road from my house. I have been getting yoghurt and dare Iced coffees most mornings. Awesomeo.
19. I am grateful for Four Mile Beach and the two random meditation spots I found.
20. I am grateful for the little writing pad I got from the lads at Joseph Mark - I have been doing shitloads of reflection in it and coming up with heaps of good brainstorming/thoughts/ideas etc
21. I am grateful that I finally got off my ass and bought an headset for Skype.
22. I am grateful that I am involved in the 4change chat.
23. I am grateful that I am starting (slowly) to recognise my ego in action. Its actually very humourous.
24. I am grateful for the epiphany I had sometime the other week - that we are all the same. I literally feel the sameness. We are all searching for happiness and trying to avoid sufferring. That is it. We are all the fucking same.
25. I am grateful for my two cats, especially Kia. I have observing animals - they are so content, peaceful. So interesting that cats pur. Such a weird noise dont you think. Imagine if humans had a random noise when we got affectionate.
26. I am grateful for CENTRELINK!!!! God bless you Australian government. I am getting 550 per fortnight, not much yes, but, at least, it covers my living expenses for a little while and gives me room to breath, not stress and focus on my self-actualisation journey. PLUS the conversation I had with Maria from Centrelink was so funny - I said, "So hypothetically I can sit on my ass for the next two years and get cash?" She said, "Yes you can sit on your ass and play warcraft all day if you want." Made me smile.
27. I am grateful that I live in Port Douglas. I LIVE IN FUCKING PORT DOUGLAS. WTF Eddie?
28. I am grateful that I have been soaking up the spiritual literature - I am understanding spirituality more and more. Its not a thing just for the so-called hippie generation - frankly if you havent gotten in touch with your spiritual side, you are missing out.
29. I am grateful for the challenges I will have to face - #slow, bipolar, passion vs cash. Everything is an exercise in spiritual training if you choose it to be. *Warrior Archetype speaking*
30. I am grateful for my clothes. Mum got me some new clothes. I dont buy clothes often, simply cause I have never been so fashion conscious but I still like it I suppose.
31. I am grateful that I finally made the effort to get some Chinese herbs for my stomach bug I had for ages.
32. I am grateful that things have gone a bit pear-shaped with Adrian and Vicky. It happens. Life goes on. People come in and out of your life. Adrian is still my best mate. Our roads will joint up again at some point. Everything changes.
33. I am grateful for that I am inevitably going to miss out things in this gratitude list.
34. I am grateful for twitter!! Seriously, I can't even begin to think how much a stupid
application has changed my life. Opened so many doors - professionally, personally, spiritually. Fucking hell it is awesome
application has changed my life. Opened so many doors - professionally, personally, spiritually. Fucking hell it is awesome
35. I am grateful for Edgeware. Its Edgeware - its awesome
36. I am grateful for the FB message I got from my ex-girlfriend, maja. It was honest and real. I feel like it finally healed that scar that was sitting on my shoulder still. I realise Ill always love her, ill always care about her even if I never speak to her again. She was an important part of my life - and it is ridicilious just to thrown that away simply because it didnt work out. I miss her.
37. I am grateful for that I can't keep track of the opportunities that flood me. I have opportunities overload - I shouldnt see that as a problem, its actually quite funny.
38. I am grateful for my stupidity. God, I can be such a dickhead sometimes. I love it. It keeps me level-headed. Normal. Real.
39. I am grateful that my phone is fucked. Somehow has created a nice psychological
barrier/distance between Brisbane world and Port Douglas world even though I am on social media channels every ten seconds.
barrier/distance between Brisbane world and Port Douglas world even though I am on social media channels every ten seconds.
40. I am grateful for my mums cooking. Awesomeo
41. I am grateful for my drugs and vitamins I have been taking. Fish Oil rocks.
42. I am grateful for my attiude about not being able to drive, not having a car in Port Douglas. Havent really bothered me this time around. As weird as this sounds, it actually on a subconscious level one of the reasons I didnt like going home during my university years, because people would ask me do you drive? This time around my focus is elsewhere, so hasnt bothered me
43. I am grateful for my curls. Curls get the girls. Maybe
44. I am grateful for package of goodies I got from grandma
45. I am grateful for Seesmic Desktop - awesome twitter app.
46/.This is, kind of cheating, but I am most grateful for the amazing people that are around me, even if it mostly online atm. I am most grateful for People. Here are some of them
Mum
Dad
Cliff
Hazuki
Lani Pauli - Been having so many DM conversations with her. We are getting close. Weird. Cant wait to *meet* her
Chris Raine and Simon Lawry - cause they are awesome awesome, deep dudes and the perfect people to move in with on my next journey.
Mark Lobo - cause its @marklobo and we are brothers, sort of.
MikeBoyd - #thehive, cause also inspiring.
Didier - my mate I have been hanging out with in Port Douglas. He is a troubled soul like me but we have both been an interesting influence on each other. I have been helping him as he has been helping me. We have gotten really close really quickly. Strange. If it hadnt been for him, I would not be hanging out (physically) atm.
Mark Pollard and Gavin Heaton - For starting manweek and helping me take a big step in my relationship with my Dad
@CDEgger - Cause she has been teaching me about 'oneness', David Pear
@RossHill - Cause he is awesome. We have know each other for 2 years. Crazy. And for the skype call the other day talking about Spiral and Google Wave. And he is going to give me Spiral Test. And he won the Anthill award. And he is SO FUCKING CHOICEEEEEE?
@ SteveHopkins - Legend. Absolute Legend.
@JanStewart - She has been teaching me a lot.
Angus Burton - because we had a conversation AGES ago talking about archetypes. Then months later, I started reading into Jung pyschology, then two things connected and I discovered my six archetypes, such a good dude.
Adrian Mauro - cause he is the loyal dude ever. My best mate. Even though things are a bit weird atm, they will ulimately be ok. I know this.
@MichealDoneman - MD represents the turning point. If I hadnt met Micheal, edgeware wouldnt have happen. If that didnt happen, social media wouldnt have happen. If social media wouldnt have happen, I would have met so many amazing people. Plus, Micheal Doneman is so awesome.
@Sarah moran - because its Sarah. Cause she is switched on like me and I feel a real sense of kinderedness with her. Family love or something. Plus I know, I know, i am going to do amazing things with her in the future.
David M Hill - cause he is caring and good soul. Loyal friend since 2003.
Matthew Varley - for setting up that meeting with GW for me, even though I havent sorted it out yet. Going to talk with Sophie soon. And plus he is a good dude. A good spirit.
@therealburgo - cause I like him. He is a good bloke. Cant wait to have beers with him and talk geek and holistic marketing.
@AviKaplan - cause he introduced me to a Jewish concept about Generosity and he is a good bloke WHO GENUnieS Cares
@Luke Grange - for the awesome laughs we had the other day on Skype
Amyrsward - Awesome
Joe Solomon- Rockstar
Morgan Sully - I LOVE THIS DUDE. FUCKING AMAZiNG. I wanna hang out with him more. I wish I could. He is exactly like me in so many ways.
Romi Oliverio - cause she is awesome, another kindered spirit. God, I have been talking with Romi for over a year now. Crazy.
Andrew Sloan - cause sloany is another best mate even though we dont talk as much because of geographical distance. I know we will party and connect again soon enough
Turks - cause he is a loyal loyal loyal friend who has helped me out soooo many goddamn times.
Beth Kanter - for helping me out. Again. Plus I learn lots from her.
David Barrett - Social butterfly like me. I wanna hang out with him more.
June Kant- My pseudo Mother. Always looking after me. Always ringing me. Always helping me out especially when I get depressed.\
@be_b - cause we are intellectual nerds and connected souls. I have really enjoyed talking with her and I cant wai tto get to know here even more.
My Mongolian friends - and especially my host brother who just had a kid. CANT WAIT TO GO BACK TO MONGOLIA
Gideon S - cant wait to have beers with him soon and talk geek. He is such a DEEPPPPPP dude. I really like him a lot.
Jonathan Renich, Edurelief - god, he makes me seem like a fad. He is actually doign amaazing stuff and changing a country. he is such an inspiration and I cant wait to visit him in the future.
Crocker - cause he pushs me to be all that I can be
Benny Johnston - cause that dude is an inspiration. And a creative, diagram drawing luantic like me.
Pieter Kant - cause he is a good man. With good storiers. And wisdom.
@tdavison - Fuck he is SMARTRTTTTTTTTTTTTT. God, he is a real inspiration.
All the people who wrote comments about me on toto - SOOOOO Grateful and humbled by that
So far: Jenni Beattie, , , Joe Solomon, , , , , , ,Nicole Jensen, Ehon, KateFoy, Suzi (, , Christine Egger , sylmobile aka Sylvano
Paul Goldston, Beth Kanter , ,
WHAT 61 PEOPLE NOMINATED ME???!!! FAR OUT. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GRATEFUL. THANK YOU UNIVERSE - LOVE YOU. WTF???!!!!!!!
The amazing online communities that I am part of - TOOO MANY NAMES TO LIST. I am grateful that I will inevitably miss out on people I feel grateful for. That is so funny and awesome.
890 Facebook Friends'
My Dunbar 150 - whoever they are
The people in my 54 Ning Groups
My 2400 whatever Twitter Followers - so much collective intelligence/wisdom/storiers
All my school mates
All my IH mates
All my other mates - wotif kids
Port Mates
GOD, I LOVE PEOPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE> PEOPLE ARE SO AWESOME>
